From the category archives:

Funnies

A Winter Auto Tour of Our Fair City

by Clarence Worly February 22, 2010

I notice things when I drive around town…
The trek down 17th is an adventure and I’m always entertained by the kids freezing their rear ends off dancing around on street corners shaking signs for tax preparation or $5 pizza or 99% off the entire inventory of plaid davenports at Dave’s Davenport Emporium & Quick Stop. I’ve [...]

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HUMOR: Ski Targhee, Lose Weight, Bond with Loved Ones

by Clarence Worly February 7, 2010

My current spouse put a tray of vegetables in the downstairs fridge last Friday night. The same fridge that I use to keep my man things cold…beer, clam dip, Tabasco, horseradish, pepperoni sticks and an emergency bottle of Crown in the freezer in case I run out of beer when entertaining my “guests”. I tried [...]

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Tattoos…The Best Way to Express Individuality

Thumbnail image for Tattoos…The Best Way to Express Individuality by Clarence Worly January 25, 2010

It seems the economy is still in a tail spin since voters activated the ejection seat on the GWB crew and gambled on a new pilot to pull out an 11th hour maneuver to keep us all from pile driving into financial terra firma. Sadly, with every yank on the control stick we tax payers [...]

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Bringing Back Brand Name Loyalty:

Thumbnail image for Bringing Back Brand Name Loyalty: by Clarence Worly January 21, 2010

I’m a pickup guy, not that there is anything wrong with sedans or SUVs or sport coups, I just prefer to drive a vehicle that has the ability to carry large heavy stuff, you know, just in case. I was driving home from dinner at Red Lobster last week in my trusty ’98 Dodge [...]

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Identifying The Smarmy

Thumbnail image for Identifying The Smarmy by Clarence Worly January 20, 2010

I‘m middle-aged, I’m over-weight, I’m narrow-minded and I’m afraid of what I don’t understand. While most voters in Idaho and Utah would consider these traits essential for any elected office, they have proved to be somewhat problematic for me at times. My complete lack of social grace, my irreverence for all I don’t respect and [...]

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Overheard in Idaho Falls

by Joe Vandal June 19, 2007

People are imperfect.
People say silly or stupid things to each other daily.
Sometimes you overhear these things and it makes you laugh.
I hope you have read some of the short quips at overheardinnewyork.com Be aware of some extreme language at that site.
Since we already have a geographically-tied public forum, I figure it’s okay to [...]

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Idaho Legislature Votes to Close Primaries, Parks, Borders, Schools, Libraries, and Minds

by Joe Vandal April 1, 2007

The Idaho Legislature re-affirmed the balance of one-party rule in their last day of the 2007 session. The measures were publicly positioned as cost-saving strategies, but many Idaho conspiracy theorists suspected an ulterior moral-control agenda.
Election Primaries were closed to sworn and paid Republican party members. Primaries for other parties were outlawed, with the reasoning [...]

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Melaleuca Buys Naming Rights to City

by Joe Vandal April 1, 2007

Melaleuca, Inc. announced today that they had purchased the naming rights to the entire city of Idaho Falls, Idaho.
Rumors were rampant for weeks that Melaleuca CEO Frank Vandersloot was about to ink a deal with the Idaho Falls mayor and city council. Many locals figured the move was inevitable, due to Frank being the [...]

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PayDay Loan Opens in Local Church Foyer

by Joe Vandal April 1, 2007

Local church patrons expressed mixed reactions to a predator lender setting up shop in their church foyer.

“Of course we walk past it on our way to the main area, so did they have to paint their stand in such bright awful colors?” wondered an elderly woman.
Some people found the outrageous fees and [...]

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Colonoscopy Comments

by Joe Vandal August 18, 2006

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his (predominately male) patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”
2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
3. “Can you hear me NOW?”
4. “Are we there yet?! Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
5. [...]

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Sunday Mourning

by Joe Vandal August 13, 2006

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to [...]

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Matrimonial perspective

by Joe Vandal July 18, 2006

Married for 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
“Now, [...]

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You know you are an Idahoan when

by BuddhAllahrist April 8, 2006

More Jeff Foxworthy-type observations, and again don’t know if he said them, but they are quite true.
You know you are a true Idahoan when:

“Vacation” means going east or west on I-84 for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” [...]

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You might live in Idaho

by BuddhAllahrist April 3, 2006

It has been awhile since I’ve seen this, and I do not know if Jeff Foxworthy really wrote it, but it hits close to home anyways.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, [...]

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Porn industry lured to Idaho Falls

by BuddhAllahrist April 1, 2006

Idaho’s efforts to lure film makers to the gem state have started bearing fruit with several pornography video production companies setting up offices around the Idaho Falls area. One pornographer described the Idaho Falls area as a perfect location for the skin industry, citing Idaho’s new film making tax credits, plenty of healthy beautiful girls, [...]

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New McDonald’s to be built on Keefer Island

by Tar n Feather Em April 1, 2006

McDonald’s corporation and the Idaho Falls city council today announced the area’s fifth chain restaurant will be constructed on Keefer Island in the Snake River. The Idaho Falls city council was happy to finally do something productive with the island, after years of weed-focus landscaping efforts failed to beautify it.

The new McDonald’s building will have [...]

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State Capital Moves to Idaho Falls

by the VP April 1, 2006

The last days of the 2006 Idaho state legislative session proved surprising as the official state capital was changed from Boise to Idaho Falls. The state constitution, seal, flag, and a cardboard box of other historical state artifacts were smuggled across the valley in the middle of the night. This move was similar to the [...]

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Why am I so tired?

by Skitterkat March 31, 2006

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of
sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood pressure or anything else I could think of.   
But now I found out the real reason I’m tired:   
I’m overworked.
The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do [...]

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Stall Conversation

by the VP February 26, 2006

I had barely sat down when I heard a voice from the other restroom stall ask, “Hi, how are you?”
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restroom, but I replied in an embarrassed voice, “Doing just fine!”
The other guy said: “So what are you up to?”
I thought it was bizarre, but [...]

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Never a dull moment

by BuddhAllahrist February 21, 2006

A guy dies, goes to He[[, and is bummed out about being there. Satan walks up and tries to cheer him up.
“It’s not that bad down here,” says the devil. “Do you like drinking?”
“Yeah, I like drinking,” replies the guy.

“Well, you’re going to enjoy Monday nights down here. We have open bars and every [...]

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To save a chicken is divine?

by Joe Vandal February 8, 2006

A recent comment was made questioning how progressive Idaho Falls was, and I thought this story certainly distinguishes us from how backwards some parts of America are. IdahoFallz.com is focused locally, but this just makes you shake your head. As reported on CNN, a former nurse has apparently brought a dead chicken back to life [...]

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Moderate Viewpoint

by the VP December 16, 2005

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon [...]

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