Are you a Democrat, Republican or Redneck?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Democrat: Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. Wait, I own a gun and know how to shoot it? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican: BANG!
Redneck: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click….. (sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click
Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! ‘
Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’
Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!
Popularity: 8%
Related posts:
It WAS all he had to say about it!
:@:)
Loading ...
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Why is a Democrat carrying a gun? This makes no sense.
Very funny post. But shouldnt it go under the cool funny jokes section in the Q & A forum?
That would defeat the purpose.
Redneck
Woo hoo! Go Redneck!
The correct republican answer would be:
Bang!
Then shoot everyone else who looks the same as the original terrorist whether they are doing anything wrong or not. You can’t be too careful so best to just attack them first even if they had nothing to do with the original attack.
LOL
But you’re not debating the democrat answer? Good man!
Sing along for the 2nd Ammendment – “….the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed”
http://tinyurl.com/cggmb6
Marcus,
I’m not defending the democrats because I’m not one of them either. I’m a libertarian who hates both major parties. I hate the republican party more but that doesnt’ mean I’m a dem fan by any means.
Wow. This has got to be in the top 10 stupidest posts I’ve read on this site. Marcus, dude, come on. I’m starting to believe you’re actually just stupid, not misinformed.
PS Do any of you ACTUALLY believe that there will EVER be a time where you’ll be face to face with an Islamic Terrorist? Seriously? You live in Idaho, people.
I thought it was a joke. I didn’t take it serious, did you Jeremy?
Of course it was a joke, but it’s a joke with a purpose. Satire (even poor satire like this) retains the author’s viewpoint while exaggerating the drama. In posting this, all Marcus is doing is further widening the cultural gap between “left” people and “right” people.
I’m just getting tired of the rhetoric, is all. Right-wing jockies are all self-righteous arrogant blowhards and left-wing jockies are all reactionary overactors. It’s time we erase the notion that there are “blues” and “reds” and start thinking of each other as people with brains. Well, most of us have brains …
“I’m just getting tired of the rhetoric, is all. Right-wing jockies are all self-righteous arrogant blowhards and left-wing jockies are all reactionary overactors. It’s time we erase the notion that there are “blues” and “reds” and start thinking of each other as people with brains. Well, most of us have brains ”
Who’s calling names now?
If the jokes isn’t funny to you, don’t laugh. Nobody is forcing you.
“In posting this, all Marcus is doing is further widening the cultural gap between “left” people and “right” people. ”
I completely disagree with this statement. In fact it’s the opposite. By laughing at and accepting that EVERYONE is different we bond. It gives us respect for others and where they come from based on the opening of the lines of communication. Laughter breaks the ice and gets people with different views to come together and discuss them in a light hearted atmosphere.
Kudos Marcus.
Thank you for recognizing the humor Anomoly.
What Base said…
It was an email forward, I thought it was funny, I posted it up. With the rest of the content going up on this site I really didn’t think it was a far stretch.
I got a chuckle out of it Marcus
Oh, come now Roger… The Sarah Palin crowd used a similar comparision between her and Mitt. It had Mitt running from a bear in the forest and Sarah shooting a gun, then sitting in front of a dead bear.
(The next sentence may create a level of disrespect for me on your part.) I love Mitt Romney, but wasn’t offended at all. I do agree that the ‘leftwing jockies are reactionary overreactors’ but would add that most in the media representation of either side can be guilty of that at times, if not at all times. However, calling this point out and accusing the Rightwing of being self-righteous blowhards, to me is far less helpful than this joke. Too many people have forgotten what it means to laugh at their own expense. Lighten up, people!
Finally, I believe that in Idaho we do experience certain amounts of safety and protection, but don’t completely discount the possibility of attacks here or anywhere for that matter. We do happen to have a lot of toxic and highly explosive material in our region that could be targeted. Besides, it was our Pre-9-11 mindset that we were untouchable that brought down our defense budgets and made it difficult for anyone to take threats of attack on our soil seriously. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.