As we pass our eight-year anniversary, I reflect on how lucky I am my wife has not strangled me to death in my sleep. Goodness knows I have given her plentiful reasons to do so.
I recently saw a study suggesting folks who keep their automobiles longer tend to keep longer and happier marriages. Folks who upgrade their cars every year or so tend to fall into divorce. The concept is that folks who are content with what they have possession-wise are also content with their partners. Folks who feel the need to have the latest and greatest tend to grow discontent with their partners. I realized in our eight-year marriage, we have owned four vehicles, though two were brought into the marriage. Each vehicle was owned at least five or six years. Yeah, we are content with what we have.
The single time we ever fought in eight years (yeah right) was due to misunderstanding of the other’s intentions. One person did not recognize where the other person was coming from, the rationale they were running on, or lacked some information the other had. Over and over again, our marriage grew healthier with the more open and honest communication we shared.
I also think a happy marriage trickles down to a happy family, or maybe is the foundation for a happy family, I’m not sure which metaphor is better. Seeking new experiences together, eating meals together, and trying for laughs have all been important.
What are your tips for a healthy marriage?
What are your tips for healthy families?
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Gato got runned over by Marcus many moons ago. Be ye daft, 2486? 
Let's have a new poll, alright, Joe?
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Taking walks together as a family also helps both with exercise and a time to talk about things going on in our lives. We like to walk to local parks, or even just a few blocks around the neighborhood to look at nice yards. Much better than sitting around the tv.
Good post. Anything that can be done to strengthen the family unit can only bring about happiness and that is something that is desperately needed in the world at this time. Speaking from the experience of one who has been through trauma AND divorce, and will probably remain single the rest of my life, it is worth the effort to maintain a healthy happy family unit. The alternative is usually not the best.
Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me and my kids. It didn’t seem that way at the time but now many years later I realize that it was the day we escaped from hell.
So my tip is – if you want to be happy – stay single.
Turn off the darn TV!!!
Seriously, my husband spend at least an hour each evening and sometimes more sitting together and talking to each other. We talk about things around the house, what the furkids did today, current events, future plans, etc. No television in this house but we keep current via the internet and actually email each other news articles sometimes to discuss later.
I won’t say there haven’t been conflicts over the years and there were some doozies too but sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.
It will be 18 years for us in October, quite an accomplishment for these two boomers. Oh, and our cars, 1995 and 1996 respectively *lolol* We don’t trade until something major falls off!
Congratulations to you, obviously your advice carries some wisdom. I have enjoyed our summer more since we canceled our tv service, hope we can keep it off.
We limit our tv watching, but don’t find any reason not to watch it at all. We actually have a great time sitting around together and watching the new shows like, “are you smarter than a 5th grader”, 1 against 100″, “So you think you can dance”, Americas Got Talent”, etc. These shows have actually brought our family closer together. We have a great time laughing and sitting around discussing the show during the commercials, etc. Also we have movie night two nights a week.
Of course we spend alot of time at the Greenbelt feeding the ducks, riding our bikes together and camping and fishing together at least every other weekend.
Its all about finding new and fun things to do with each other so nobody gets bored. We limit the time each of us spend on the computer and the tv each night and we are a family that also loves to read. We always buy new books for the little ones, and take them to the Library to pick new ones out each week. As long as your family spends time together doing fun things, you’ll never have a problem. I can’t even remember the last time anyone in our family got upset with the other or got in an arguement.
Make the most of the time you have with your family and you’ll always be happy!
Ogden Nash says it best:
To keep your marriage brimming
with love in the loving cup,
whenever you’re wrong, admit it, whenever you’re right, shut up.
That’s good, I’m adding that to our random wisdom quotes.
Over time I have noticed the more positively-oriented articles at IFz do not get as many comments or attention as the contentious ones, but I truly appreciate any and all that contribute their wisdom to this particular thread.
The site identifies me as “anonymous”. This is actually Paula.
I noticed the same thing, Joe. Seems like there are always fewer comments on a positive article. Wonder why? Anyway, I will add my two cents. Advice for marriage??
At the end of each day ask yourself “What did I do for my spouse today that I didn’t HAVE to do?”
I was bothered that for awhile our kids refused to eat anything but peanut butter sandwiches or cereal for meals. One day a few months ago I had an epiphany and suddenly declared, “Meals must be a bread and a fruit”, and we’ve stuck with it ever since. Now when the kids want a bread-based food, we always ask, “and what do you want for your fruit?” and they don’t argue anymore. So now they are eating a lot more fruit cups and bananas and such than they were before. We also won’t let them have a desert if they don’t finish both parts of the meal (especially the fruit).
Now if I can only get them to try new foods, they push it around until it goes cold, and say they didn’t want dessert anyway. Argh!
Tip for a healthy marriage: Look yourself in the mirror every day and say, “Hey, you’re no bargain yourself.”
Tip for healthy kids: “Don’t. Sweat. The. Small. Stuff.” Really.
I can’t do that Babs…..I’d only be lying to myself!
j/k!
CR67….I am still ROFL…..
and actually, I must confess, I read that tip from Erma Bombeck, I think: she was opining that if you ever feel like you married someone who was less than perfect on some days, you should remind yourself they married you, too!
I think I read every Erma Bombeck book in the 60s (and some in the 70s, I think) for wholesome family humor. I was into her stuff, and Art Buchwald’s, too, back then, for my political insider satire. His wasn’t really wholesome but very sharp (if dated now) political humor.
I’ve had several serious relationships, and I was equally at fault when they didn’t work out.
What I’ve been doing differently in this last one is trying not to feel I have to be right, that I have to win. I’m trying to apply that philosophy to most things, including blog comments.
I wish I had been this emotionally mature back when I was younger.
I know what you mean, Nemesis; I was always thinking that the only way to have a relationship was to “win”! But I started to realize, in my late twenties, what compromising was all about and how a good partnership is really what it is all about; more than the “romance” or being swept off one’s feet. I also recognize that dumb luck plays a huge part. If I hadn’t met my husband, I probably wouldn’t have ever married. He is a great guy and believe me, there are days when I have to repeat that like a mantra
a la Erma B.
Oh, to have the knowledge and skills we have now, and take them back to our early 20’s……
I guess the reality is that without all my mistakes I wouldn’t be the person I am today, ‘cuz I had to learn the hard way.
And I kinda like who I am now, so maybe I had to be a jerk before to learn how to play nice, now.
One bit of advice I got: Go to a marriage counselor before you get married. The counselor can help you discover what problems you and your future spouse will likely have and how to work through them.
Now, if I’d only gotten that advice BEFORE I’d gotten married.
Luckily, though, we’d bought a brand-new car a few months after getting married, and as long as we own it, we should be okay. (We’ve had it over 21 years so far.)
Humor, good advice.