Local Youth Sports, Great for Kids, OR damaging to them?

Great topic, Rich. Although the answer you seek is elusive.

I had an experience trying out for my school’s basketball team, where I was not selected…and admittedly, this was perhaps for legitimate reasons. However, another player trying out fell and broke his arm during warm-ups, and could not continue the tryout. Yet, amazingly, he was selected to the team.

I could understand a returning 2nd- or 3rd-year player being selected based on past performances, but this was a first-year tryout. I do not know the basis, but to me, this was clear favoritism and the experience left me disillusioned and cynical of organized team sports in general.

On one hand, I’ve since seen and heard far too many tales about favoritism, nepotism, angry parents yelling at and beating coaches, referees, scorekeepers, or other parents. (Thomas Junta, anyone?)

Yet on the other hand, there are plenty–and many will argue, the majority–of organized sports programs that thrive, and yield individuals who display good sportsmanship, teamwork, respect and leadership.

Thus, parents are faced with the challenge of either protecting their children from a corrupt system, or deprive them of a prosperous one, after first identifying which is which.

In any case, much can be said about experiencing corruption first hand as a learning device…it exists in the so-called “real world” and maybe some exposure to it isn’t the worst thing, provided they learn to handle it appropriately.

Parents understandably want the best for their children, but kids who are sheltered and/or always rescued from difficult situations don’t learn survival skills.

That said, I would still be cautious to sign my son up for team sports without an adequate study of the program.

………………..

On a personal note, I’m aware of the benefit in team sports, yet I favor individual sports. Like skateboarding, for example, in which progression and enjoyment are not dependent upon competition.

And yet there is some middle ground, such as gymnastics, where in competition, individual performance is recognized, yet ultimately contributes to a team score.

Rich, your article will stir up quite a debate about organized sports, and I hope you find a solution. Fortunately, there are many options, and team sports is just one of them. Best of luck.

Rich,

You are right on with this, however you are just skimming the surface. The “buddy card”,”must have played Grid Kid”, and “no out of staters before the local boys” are all code words for, “if you aint mormon you can’t play here”.

Plain and simple.

I hear about these organized sports problems nationwide, not just in SE Idaho (pop the Mormon bubble before it gets too big in this discussion).

A family member coached little league years ago for only one year. He said it was dispiriting to have parents not bring kids to practices and then chew him out for not playing their kids as much. He only coached for one year.

I understand some parents are trying to groom their kids towards professional athletics, but I think the “me first” attitudes are what drive most of these problems we hear about.

We never know the full stories behind these conflicts, but I suspect the blame can be laid fairly equally between all parties.

The coach may not play a kid because they are sick of the parent’s lack of respect to the coach. The kid may not give his all because he knows he is only playing because his dad funded the entire league. The parent may feel they are being ignored and their kid is biased against because of any factor. The ref may get sick of parents yelling at them and start calling more against the team with the most obnoxious parents.

Round and round it will go, where will it stop? How will it stop? What needs to happen for kids to learn sports and sportsmanship, and have fun?

I think part of the issue lies in parents who are attempting to live vicariously through their children.

A few years back my son played baseball on a local team. Both coaches had sons on the team and these boys were the team pitchers. The one boy wasn’t too bad but the other one was absolutely awful. To compound the problem, this boy didn’t want to pitch, he wanted to play shortstop, where he excelled. Every time he was put in to pitch, the team would begin to lose ground and ended up losing many games during his innings as pitcher. This poor child would be near tears as his father yelled at him from the sidelines and his teammates scowled in disgust. Towards the end of the season, the all-star tryouts took place. One of the rules for this was that you had to try out to be selected. Neither boy showed up but both were selected for the team. Many boys who did show up were not selected of course, but as I watched, I kept my own score and did not come close to selecting the same players the coaches did. It did not escape my notice that many of those selected were the children of business owners who were contributing dollars to the teams, etc.

The points made previously about the world not being fair, and the real world being unfairly competitive are real, but I mourn for the days of pickup games of baseball where all the kids played for the thrill of the game and the parents stayed home!

I coached little league a couple of years ago. (I did not have a son on the team nor did I know any of the kids before becoming the coach) The team I was coaching had won the league the year before but had lost a few players to the majors. We had a blast throughout the year won many games lost a few but all kids played quite a bit and we had fun. I refused to win at all costs and if playing some kids caused us to lose that was OK with me. (not with some of the parents mind you)
I felt we had played the season the way little league minors was meant to be played by winning and losing as an entire team with no blame or recriminations. However as we got to the last few games of the year there it turned out that my team and another team were tied for the league lead. We had one more game against each other long story short the opposing coach used up his best pitchers and last inning we were tied and rather then play out to get a winner he basically ran his kids off the field with the tie even though his kids and mine wanted to play to get a winner. He basically did this because he new he had a tiebreaker win versus the third place team. Sad that he chose to not play the game out when throughout the season any ties always went to extra innings as that’s how the coaches and kids wanted things to go. This coach had his heart set on being the all star coach and short changed alot of boys on both teams.
Another instance that broke my boys hearts occured when the worst team in our league played us in our last common game of the season. They did not have enough boys to field a team and the way our league ran if a minor team did not have enough boys they could use players from their sister team on the majors. These bigger kids were allowed to play so there would not be a forfeit and a game could take place. It was common knowledge in the league that if you had to use major players to keep from forfeiting that you could not use them for an unfair advantage to win games… i.e. they could not pitch because their size and athletisim it was not fair to the young kids many of whom it was their first year playing baseball to compete. This rule was held sacred by all coaches and had for years since they allowed major players to play down if the minor team needed them in order to have games instead of forfeits. In the case against the worst team in the league they brought down 2 kids from the majors and ended up pitching one of them for the last half of the game to win by strking out my kids one after another as he was an allstar major pitcher pitching to beginners. I was appalled and complained to the umpire and tried to take the opposing coach aside to have him not do what he was doing as it was against the rules and was not fair to my boys or his. He smiled and told me he had read the league rules and it did not have it specifically spelled out that his major boys could not pitch so basically tough. I told him that he knew full well that for years no minor coach had used a major’s player to pitch against minor players. To this coach he didn’t care it was more important to beat the previous years league champions no matter what and break the hearts of my boys and gave his boys a hollow victory. What a shame. Needless to say that was the first and last year I coached. I was appalled.
In the same year in the preliminary games where you get to play teams from all over the area in basically scrimmage type games because any wins loss’s did not count against team league play, we played a team from Iona that the coach wanted to have us forfeit the game because he claimed there was some rule that the catchers chest protector had to have the flap that protected the groin area of the catcher. I about died when I asked him if he was serious that winning a scrimmage game was that important to him? He was serious and thanks to a very knowledgeable umpire that said that as long as my boy was wearing a cup that was all that was required. So had there been a different umpire that had bought this coaches load of bull we would have lost the game not gotten to play at all and would have really hurt alot of boys. But see it was more important to this coach that his boys go undefeated the whole season then it was to have possibly lost a scrimmage game. These coaches are what are ruining the game due to pressure i’m sure from parents and the desire they have to remain coaching. It really is a shame.

UPDATE:
The experiment has begun. I signed up my two first graders for arena football through the YMCA. We have had 4 practices, and our first game is April 7th. Here are my impressions thus far.

The coach, Kelly Shaw, is totally great! He is genuinely interested in seeing the kids be successful and have fun. He is patient and is a great teacher. Also, he appreciates the help of the parents with the kids.

The parents (what little I have seen of them) are also okay. Several seem interested in helping their kids improve their skills, but unfortunately some parents seem more interested in using the time as nothing more than a baby sitter. I think the parent’s true test will come during the first game.

My overall view of the experience to this point is overwhelmingly positive. But, I think the true test will come during the games, which are Saturdays at the Y Indoor Soccer Arena. Most importantly, my kids are having fun and are learning some sports skills, which certainly can’t hurt.

Basically, I have three rules for my kids while they are in this program. Those rules are: Have Fun, Try Hard, and Listen to the Coach. To this point, it is working.

Had the boy’s first game this Saturday. I think it was a success. The parents were well behaved (myself included) and were very supportive of the kids, cheering for both sides throughout the whole game.

If the games continue to happen in this manner, then I will certainly have no problem with continuing to let my kids play any sport that they desire.

I would like to make a couple comments on this subject if I may. First, I think that it is interesting how religion always seems to come up in many of the topics discussed on this site. It is usually dismissed by someone right away – as it was above in post number 6: “Religion has nothing to do with it. I think that is a pretty poor argument.” And then Joe (trying to keep religion out of the discussion) usually steps in and tries to throw some water on the small flames by saying something like “I hear about these organized sports problems nationwide, not just in SE Idaho (pop the Mormon bubble before it gets too big in this discussion).” There might be a reason that this issue of religion keeps coming up. I know that if some effort is not made to control it, as Joe does, then every single discussion topic becomes a discussion on religion, which is what he is trying to prevent. And I agree with what he is doing. But, if we really think about it, there must be a reason it keeps coming up. It’s interesting at any rate. It can be dismissed, but the underlying issue cannot be denied. It’s just the way it is in this part of the state. But once again, I do understand why the effort needs to be made to keep it under control as much as possible, and I am glad that Joe is there to do it. Next, I believe that there have been some valid points brought out in this thread. But personally, I do see a distinct difference in the sports played by those very young boys and girls and those in High School and arguably even Jr. High School. In the early years, when kids are just starting out (T ball, Grid Kid, etc.) this is the time to teach sportsmanship, how to play, develop skills, everyone plays, etc. But as kids get older, I believe it becomes more important for the more talented kids to play – even if this means that the less talented ones have to sit on the bench. I know that won’t be a popular statement with many – but it’s really the way it should be in my opinion. You see, not all kids have the talent and ability – in ANY single given activity. It’s a fact of life. There comes a time when a kid just needs to realize what his or her abilities really are, and where their talents actually lie. That’s a process that we all go through in life. By the time you get to the High School level, you have kids who have college scholarships on the line, and maybe even some that have potential pro careers ahead of them. I went to High School with a guy who is now retired after a full career in the NFL. Football is a TEAM sport, and the object at the High School level (and above) is to win. Each team member must make a contribution to make that happen. That might mean that they start every game as the quarterback, or maybe they must sit on the bench behind a more talented player, and just be available in case he/she is needed. Now I don’t think that is the way it SHOULD be, in a perfect world. I just don’t believe that we live in a perfect world. I would have been pretty upset had the high school coaches pulled me out of a football game to play a less talented player, just when the coaches from BSU started really watching me play. Now I know that some kids will not find it worth going to practices and working hard to sit on the bench. If so, then they should be encouraged to find a different sport or activity that suits their natural talents and abilities a bit better. I wanted to be good at math like my Father and some of my fellow students. But I just could not grasp it like many of them could. I had to work hard to get a C – and some of these kids got A’s without any effort at all! Was that fair? The teachers bragged about these A students, and I was mediocre to say the least. Something I just had to deal with. I had to adjust the plans for my future accordingly. I just believe that when we discuss the local youth programs, we must clearly see a difference in the younger kids programs vs. the older ones. Also, I wonder how many kids are out there playing a sport they really don’t want to be playing, and really have no talent for, just because they are trying to keep Dad’s chest puffed out, and a smile on his face?