Gotta love the Fox Headline re: Jessica Lunsford case.
Pretty young to die of natural causes, at least taxpayers in Florida don’t have to foot his bill anymore.

Most sex offenders get sentenced to a lengthy prison term but are ordered to serve a rider first. You see it all the time around here and there is the typical outrage over it from those who don’t understand why. The purpose behind the rider is that the Cottonwood prison is where they do evaluations on sex offenders to determine their risk of reoffending. Upon finishing their riders the offenders are usually brought back to the originating court, assuming the judge retained jurisidiction which they usually do, so that the judge can then reevaluate the offender. The judge can then order them to serve their regular prison sentence or let them out on probation.

Its happened both ways around here. If you look through this thread you’ll see examples. You’ll also see examples of people who don’t understand how the system works. Michael Nef was a very bad offender up in Madison county and he got a rider so that he could be evaluated. There was all kinds of outrage in this very thread about it even though it was clearly explained by the judge the rider was for the purpose of the evaluation. Once the rider was up the judge found that Nef needed to go to regular prison. Of course sometimes you see them released.

In your situation I can’t even begin to speculate without knowing more details that you may not want to provide. How old is your daughter? How old is the offender? If your daughter was a teen was this a case of legal consent where the teen was willing but couldn’t legally give consent. Is your daughter the only victim? Does the offender have a history? How many times? Was it full molestation or was it fondling?

I did a quick internet search, and all I could find was reference to the scam alert a few months ago, nothing recent here in Idaho Falls.

I won’t forward any more of these, and I’m sure my daughter won’t after the rude talk she got from the police.

I’m just wondering how you find out if this is legit? It’s horrible that something that can do so much good has to be ruined by idiots with nothing better to do.

It’s not like it’s journalism, it’s tabloid mentality! And I’ve prided myself for years to be above that, only to just now realize that I’m thick as thieves with the very sleazy ooze I make fun of all the time!

Oh, the humility. I HATE it when I realize I’m no better than anyone else, after all! (But I love it when I have epiphanies like this one…)

Thanks again, CR67, for bringing me closer to the light. hee hee.

So, I moved past it, for the most part. I know it can be done.

I agree with you that there are different levels of victimization, especially when coercion and threats are used.

I think that El Diablo hit on a very pertinent point, that parental abuse is very difficult for the entire family. Since most abuse comes from family and friends, there’s a tremendous amount that is well-hid from the public. It’s the stranger abuse, which is very rare by comparison, that gets the headlines and the outcry.

Stranger abuse also feels easier to adjudicate, because it feels good to sentence that person to long periods of time in prison, and get them away from society. But it feels different when you have a family all devastated and broken up and you think to yourself, “Gee, maybe with some counseling and strict probation, this otherwise productive and happy family doesn’t have to be torn apart…” and it becomes tougher to decide.

Of course all us on the outside of this picture, all we see is the relatively light sentences and we get angry and think we know better. (Myself included, at times.)

On this website we armchair-quarterback EVERYONE!!!

In my experience, some people are victimized more than others, when being sexually abused. It depends on whether coercion, bribes or how the victim was groomed. Another major factor also depends with what and how the victin is threatened by the perpetrator.

I honestly don’t think the victimization of any two people are identical. There are so many variables.

Again, I appreciate Nemesis sharing the memories s/he did.

I agree there are no easy solutions. I also know that studies show the child typically still loves the parent and is horribly conflicted, sometimes to the point of recanting.

I can tell you that I high-tailed it away from home as soon as I could get out of there. My parents left Idaho and went back to Kentucky after I got married in 1976, and I saw my dad one final time over the Christmas holidays in 1977. I spoke to him by phone only 3-4 times in the next 25 years before he passed away. We never ever discussed it. He became a Pentecostal preacher there, and I was told that he ‘confessed’ to his congregation in the early 80s, and they ‘forgave’ him. That made me incredibly bitter, I remember.

I am still ambivalent about whether I should have tried to establish a good relationship with him as an adult. My daughters never met him, and I apologized to them when they were adults, but they both said they understood. I didn’t go to his funeral, but I did feel bad enough to take one day off to mourn (probably just feeling sorry for myself more than anything.)

If my dad had been arrested, I don’t know how I would have reacted. I’m trying to be honest about it, and I guess that even though I knew that what he did was wrong, and that I was innocent, I probably would have felt very very guilty about turning him in. I have no idea what kind of sentence I would have wanted. Is the child better off with the parent in jail? If it makes them safe, absolutely. Beyond that, it’s really hard to know, and you make a great point about trying to decide what to do in those situations.

Whew! How strange to be discussing this so dispassionately! But don’t feel sorry for me, it’s over and done. What we need to do now is work towards helping the children of today and tomorrow to not be in danger from repeat offenders. Jessica’s Law would help.

You don’t have to answer but you are in a unique position to answer a certain question that I think many don’t think about when they demand tough sentences. Don’t get me wrong, I think its an outrage that so many molestors around here have gotten slaps on the wrists lately but I also realize that sometimes there are other considerations.

Anyway, my question pertains to your father. If things could have been different and he’d been caught and charged what kind of sentence would you have wanted at that time and looking back what would your feeling be about it now. I realize this is highly personal so if you don’t feel like answering I understand. But what people don’t tend to realize is that when your dealing a with a parent molestor no matter what you do your going to be punishing the child because often that child still loves the parent despite whats happening and the child will blame themselves if their parent is sent away for many years. Obviously something has to be done to protect the child from future molestations, don’t get me wrong, but the courts will sometimes consider the complete loss of a parent when sentencing. Its very easy for those who have never faced this to say the child is better off if the parent is gone forever but in my experience I’ve found that victims of abuse sometimes have differing opinions. I even know some victims who have gone on to adult life and managed to establish a fairly decent relationship with the parent who molested them, something that couldn’t happen if the parent was locked up for life. And of course I know some victims who want nothing to do with that parent. There are no easy answers or solutions when dealing with a parent molestor.

Laws such as Jessica’s Law help our society get these perpetrators off the streets. We really need to have something stronger in Idaho.

I disagree that it’s a liberal viewpoint to protect the constitutional rights of people even after they commit a crime. I think it’s a patriotic viewpoint. I believe in the Constitution.

TMI alert, don’t read further if you don’t want to know too much personal information about me.

I was molested for a period of time over several years as a child, by my dad and two of his friends (one married and one single). Nothing was done to them because it was never reported to the authorities, although after it was over I did tell my stepmother and she told the wife of one of the men. (Neither of the women left their husbands.)

That other married man (at least) continued to offend and was eventually arrested for things he did to another child 10 years later, and given 3 years of probation. HA! I was so mad. I knew he had to have other victims in between.

That crappy probation sentence was 25 years ago. I’m able to look back on it pretty calmly now. And, I can say, constitutionally, all prisoners deserve to be protected from those of us (or others) who would harm them.

Because of my history, I totally understand the disgust, the anger, the need to inflict harm on the perpetrator. If it were done to my child I’d be first in line to kill them outright. That’s where the rest of society needs to step in to stop me, and let the law prevail rather than my personal need to take an eye for an eye.

Thanks for letting me speak my piece!