Sunday Mourning

Posted by Joe Vandal
August 13, 2006

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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.


Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; My Rights, Not me, and Lazy.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Funnies

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Comments

Comment # 1 by Joe Vandal on August 13, 2006 @ 9:52 pm  
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This, like many other jokes, are passed on to me. I found at least one part funny and so decided to pass it on.

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Comment # 2 by Archy on August 17, 2006 @ 6:47 am  
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I like it, but I too get lots of those swollen joke lists in my inbox. I usually come here for information that applies to IF. Oh, wait…

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Comment # 3 by Me on September 9, 2006 @ 2:10 am  
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It’s way too sad, but I’m old enough and wise enough to agree with the whole eulogy. Any parents out there that reads this, let me tell you this…. GET SOME COMMON SENSE BACK INTO YOUR NOODLE !!!! SHEESH !!!!!!!

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