I recently had an experience with a repairman who crossed the line. The details of this story are going to be vague as I have since filed a complaint with his company and don’t want anything to jeopardize the integrity of my statement and/or any future legal situation. Let me lay out the scenario for you.
On a rainy day about a month ago we had an issue with a service we subscribe to. After the service was repaired, the repairman contacted us via telephone. I jokingly asked if we were to subscribe to another service the company offered would it now work without a hitch (since this was our 2nd service call in less that a month). He said yes and that a special promotion would save me money and he’d bring the pamphlet up to my apartment. I have two dogs and a cranky husband with a broken leg so I said I’d just come down and get it.
I went downstairs and to the back of the building and found the repairman in the alley near the site where the repairs were done. I said hello and introduced myself, to which he replied, “That’s not the name on the account.†I explained that the account is my husbands and that because he had a broken leg, I was dealing with the situation. As we were talking he went to put his hand on my arm (innocent enough, right?) and instead brushed his open hand over my chest. I was shocked, but my first thought was that maybe it was just a mistake. I took a step back but it seemed like the more I moved away the closer he got. Then he moved his hands down to his waist and I honestly thought he was going to undo his pants, instead he undid just his tool belt and whipped it off quickly, at this point I panicked and just wanted to get away from him.
Luckily, at that same moment my “inquisitive” neighbor came out to see what was going on. I was so relieved! Upon seeing my neighbor, the repairman seems to get a little flustered.  I started to walk towards my neighbor and said that I was going to go, but he insists I take the pamphlet and then tells me that he’s going to write down his cell number in case I need any help in the future. After that, I quickly walk to my neighbor whom I thank profusely for saving me from certain danger. He mentions how he thought something unusual was going on because the repairman had been so ornery and rude when he’d shown up, but that when he came out and saw me with him his whole demeanor had changed. (lucky me)
I set off upstairs and fill my husband in on what had just happened and he’s staring at me in disbelief, I think he thought I was pulling his leg. And then the phone rings. I’ll give you one guess who it was….YEP, the overly friendly repairman. At this point I have the creeps so bad I could scream but I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to do, so I just say hello, he asks what I’m doing, so I tell him (watching television with my husband), I don’t try to keep the conversation going because I’m really not sure why he has called and he says, “You still have my number?†To which I reply yep…(because I still have the “evidence†to this day.) Then he says “Ok, I’ll talk to YOU laterâ€, as if I were going to call him back.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t assaulted, but I was harassed, and someone whom I thought I could trust violated my personal space and values. But I felt guilty because this occurred in the alley behind my apartment building and I felt like if I hadn’t gotten myself into a situation that would allow someone like him to feel comfortable enough to violate me, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. If my “curious” neighbor hadn’t come out to see what was going on who knows how much further it would have gone. If I had yelled at the top of my lungs for help it’s doubtful I’d have been heard or even if I was that anyone would have come to see what the problem was. But that’s a whole other story.
The whole situation still gives me the creeps and even though it took me a month to start the process of filing a complaint with the company he works with, I know it was the right thing to do. How many other women has this happened to or will it happen to if I don’t speak up? I know I did nothing wrong, and yet still I feel a little ashamed. Why did I feel like it was my fault and why did it take almost a month and reassurance from others for me to get up the nerve to stick up for myself? Does society lead women to fear speaking out against sexual harassment and sexual assault because we see what happens on court shows, the news, movies, etc.? Or is it simply because we don’t think we’ll be believed.
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Any followup information from this? Did it finally resolve to your satisfaction, or did they ignore you until you dropped it?
Ready to identify the company yet?
OMG!!!! That was so wrong of him. I hope he gets fired. Didnt you call the police? I would have. I bet he made you feel really violated. Who the hell does this guy think he is? What did the company say about the attack? Yes it was an attack. No one is allowed to put their hands on another person at all period. That was a battery. I bet he is the kind of guy that would rape someone. what company was it? I would call the cops and sue the company if they do nothing about it.
UPDATE: The company is Qwest – they told me they would talk to the repairman and get back to me as to what their resolution would be – then my “contact” with their company ignored phone calls from me until I gave up. It is very frustrating to me that they couldn’t have cared less that i was violated by their company – needless to say I will NEVER do business with them again. We disconnected our services with them and occassionally I am contacted by them regarding restarting my service or special offers to which i calmly and politely tell them to take their services and stick it where the sun don’t shine. In retrospect I should have contacted the police and pursued this further because I would hate to think this happened to someone else because Qwest doesn’t care and I was too afraid to press the issue further.
This is strange on Qwest’s part, because they could easily confirm or deny your story by cross-checking the date/time/location you said this happened with the repairman’s schedule.
It would be quick and easy for them to say there is not a match to his schedule vs. the time/place you said this happened.
It would be coldly corporate to just ignore you. Sounds like they found a match and don’t want to deal with the consequences.
I know for a fact they found a match – i not only had the exact date and time of the call, but he had also given me his name and COMPANY cell phone number – then to top it off called my house from his company cell phone after he left – they tried to play it off that they were starting a new program to have the techs call the customers back to make sure everything was satisfactory. What a crock of bull – did they also start a new program where their repairmen are to grope at their female customers breasts for their own personal gratification?
I think what happened to you is positively disgusting. However, I have to point out that every utility company who has come to my house during the last year has called the next day to ask if I am satisfied with the service. I have also been given the repairman’s personal and business cell phone numbers in several cases. It could be true that Qwest has a similar program (they aren’t one of the companies I have experience with) but that does not excuse a repairman being too “friendly”. The company’s refusal to deal with the problem more appropriately does tend to make one suspicious, doesn’t it? If he didn’t have suspicious motives and had just been a touchy person, the company could simply have said they had counseled him and offered its apologies. The stonewalling makes me too think something was terribly wrong. I also believe that women especially have a special instinct for when they are in dangerous situations and believe skitterkat was being warned. I’m sorry this happened to you.
If my wife described to me what happened to Skitterkat and they ignored me, I’d be down at the Qwest tech building off Anderson demanding to find that technician.
This is not the everyday story of some rude customer service person on the end of an 800 number who could be anywhere.
This is a highly unusual story of a woman in our own community innapropriately and sexually accosted by a guy working in our own community, representing a national company that now refuses to acknowledge their employee’s misdeed.
We have hundreds of Qwest employees in this town between techicians and call center employees and who knows what else they have. Someone knows someone who can run this up the flagpole to corporate if corporate isn’t going to run it down to our level.
I hope no one takes this the wrong way as I’m not saying Skitterkat is lying.
But one must realize that corporations, government entitites, and the like receive false complaints all the time from people who aren’t happy with their service, who are just trying to cause mischief, or just like to be centers of attention.
In Skitterkat’s case in the end it comes down to her word against his. Knowing that people have in the past filed false complaints their risk of liability in firing the guy over a complaint that is unsubstantiable is probably greater than any they might face from Skitterkat.
If there is a pattern of complaints against the guy then its one thing. If this is the first complaint there realistically is not much they can do other than document it and see if more complaints come in.
Its unfortunate that the liars of the world make it hard for the true victims to come forward.
Skitter -What about reporting it to law enforcement? Much live Raven indicated, I don’t think much would happen with you making filing one report. But, who knows how many others complaints law enforcement may have had about this guy?
Did you check for him on the registered sex offenders map? That only tracks folks who are trying to get their lives together again enough to register. But, I’d just wonder about it a bit more and wonder if there was another avenue.
Joe, I’m absolutely drawing a blank tonight. Where off Anderson is the Qwest Tech Bulding?
The Qwest technician building is north off Anderson from that stoplight where the home lighting center just moved from; also by Bush elementary school. It’s just over the railroad tracks on the left, clearly marked with Qwest logos.
Now the question is which tech is the infamous alley dancer?
>>Why did I feel like it was my fault and why did it take almost a month and reassurance from others for me to get up the nerve to stick up for myself?>>
SHORT ANSWER–see below.
LONG ANSWER–let’s not even go there. :
Because in our society, women are objectified, sexualized and minimized to the point that people (men) EXPECT and ASSUME that a woman “wants” and “asks for” to be treated as a sex object, and we women, having been socially marginalized since early childhood, accept and even internalize this attitude and so feel innate shame first for merely being a woman, and second, for “tempting” men with our sexuality. This attitude relieves men of responsibility for their attitudes and behavior while continuing the objectivation and minimization of women.
Becky, I agree with the spirit of your statement. However, there are plenty of men who DON’T feel that way toward women. I treat women with the respect they deserve and not as sexual objects. But as a single person, it gets real difficult to meet women when they all think you are out to get them from the start. I’m not that way. (I can hear it now, that’s what they all say, right?) While I sympathize with how it must feel to be a woman these days, a little less stereotyping and generalizing would go a long way toward improving relationships between the sexes. And that goes for men too. As a general rule, men should be more respectful of women than they are. Change happens one person at a time.
I have not spoken to Skitterkat in awhile, but the last I heard was that Qwest completely blew her off on this.
As I understood it, the repairman’s itinerary matched her description, and a neighbor witnessed at least part of the Qwest repairman’s inappropriate behavior.
Shame on Qwest.
Becky’s right.
Many women in our society (let alone other “less enlightened” parts of the world) are TRAINED from early on, to feel guilty when we are abused or violated in any way – by men, by service companies, by the woman cashier @ the store, by a corporation, by a boss (male or female).
It’s NOT NOT NOT just “men” who are to blame – that’s for you, Joe. But what you, Joe, and other interested men on this thread probably don’t realize is – it is very true that women are expected to take abuse AND we are also often disbelieved or minimized when we DO speak out.
I have no idea whether skitterkat is telling a truth or not – one thing about the internet is it’s often hard to tell who’s “for real”, but it IS true – I’m speaking as a woman – that when we are somehow abused (not just sexually – there’s also emotionally, physically, societally, work-wise) it is almost ALWAYS diminished. “Now now dear, it will be okay” – that kind of thing.
It may very well be true that “it will be okay” but that’s not the point. The point is – when my “space” (of any type) is violated – I expect respectful consideration, not patronizing “it’s all in your head” or “it’s not THAT bad @ least you weren’t raped” – etc.
I have been the recipient of such “thoghtful words” in the past, many times, more times than I can count. I do not care for those words, I do not find them “kind” or “thoughtful” or “meaning well” – kind and thoughtful allows us our experience without trying to diminish it.
It’s a part of life I doubt most men understand – not because most men don’t get abused then not belived, but because most men don’t get abused and disbelieved on a continuous, sometimes DAILY basis to the point where they doubt their own right to believe their own instincts.
I vought a car a year and a half ago and was “taken for a ride” so to speak by a local used car company in this area. I had to FIGHT and fight HARD – they kept trying to bamboozle me – I KNOW for a fact that part of their thinking was “If we keep telling her what she wants to hear she’ll go away – women are like that”. I know this for a fact because I was told this by the manager of the comapny, toward the end of our relationship.
Bottom line – I had to fight twice as hard as my partner (a man) would have had to – because of my indoor plumbing. But FIGHT I did – they messed with the wrong fiesty, forty-one year old, semi-natural red-head. (One thing about being over forty, women of the forum, is that you suddenly cease to CARE what the rest of the world thinks of you – you gain plenty of power @ this time of your life.)
I fought, it exhuasted me, but I got what I paid for, what I expected, what I deserved.
In our world we ALL have to be our own special advocate. If a service technician ever abuses me – that tech will pay for it. Period.
Women who stand tall, speak up, and refuse to be complacent are STILL considered “female bow-wows”, “nags”, and worse. THAT is why some fear speaking up.
I have embraced both of those “negative” terms and decided to call myself BOTH those things proudly. I rarely get messed with anymore – nobody cares to try to control a woman who can’t be beaten down verbally.
I hope I’ve made my case fairly strongly – women DO get the idea they shouldn’t make a scene over abuse – I disagree. SCENE ON, sisters!
Gypsy, you go, girl! Good for you! I have had the fortune of having woman supervisors for many years. And I see some of the things they have to deal with and the double standards.
I have often thought that I don’t know if I could deal with being a woman and having to deal with what they do. They probably endure many comparable problems and discrimination that minorities experience. And they can’t always speak up for themselves the way men can.
Changing the subject slightly, while we are on the subject of Qwest I had a negative experience with them just today. I went online to check how much excise tax I had paid over the past 3 years, so I could see if it was more than the standard refund the IRS is offering. Amazingly, Qwest wants to charge me $10 to look at my own account. I e-mailed them and told them they better reconsider because I will change phone companies over being gouged for $10. They have a lot of nerve. And today in the news I see that their former CEO is being accused of fraudulently hiding $90 million. They do not seem to be a reputable company.
Gypsy – I’m with you! I bought a car and ended up getting a better deal because I did my research and I wouldn’t let them tell me lies. It was difficult to be so strong because you’re right. Women are taught to be ‘nice’. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy when I’m able to be nice, but I won’t tolerate a bunch of nonsense. If my kindness gets taken advantage of, then it ends. I’ve already reached the stage that I don’t care what I’m called!
You GO Girls!
We had a very different experience I had a deal {$} for a 300C my wiffee used a different salesman same company she got the same cash price but all the extra”s they could find including 250 free gas. free oil changes’year free car washes,none of which they offered me .(she is hot! very flirtacious’ only because she can be.sorry about your experience I hope it is not common.
QWEST has an internal investigations unit. You just need to get ahold of someone to tell you how to contact them….I am sure they would love to nail the jerk that did this to Skitterkat.
I have actually been on the other side of the coin. I was a plumber for 12 years and used to make 20-30 housecalls a week. Women used to come on to me ALL the time! The majority of them were married too. Due to all the rules on this site, I can’t even begin to tell you all the things I used to see and experience going to peoples houses to do repair work. Everything from women answering the doors in see through nighties, to having them come right out and ask me for sex.
You’d be surprised at just how many stay at home Moms I dealt with over the years who are cheating on their husbands with people like me.
Personally it didnt bother me. I was actally flattered, but had to come right out and say NO many a time!
CheekyMonkey -
My partner and I used to subcontract service work – which took us to peoples’ homes.
I can’t tell you how many “desperate housewives” came onto my partner – while I was standing RIGHT THERE. I can’t give any specifics either – but holy cow some were outrageous.
I wondered why the women didn’t care that I was right there – maybe to them that was part of the draw.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Thanks but no thanks.
People out there in the real world don’t know how it can be. They think guys who say “That hot homowner flirted with me” are either making it up or exaggerating. Many times they aren’t!
Weird. I never once tried to get a service guy to shag me – even the one who kind of looked like Johnny Depp.
To each his / her own.
There is another side of this story, thanks for reminding me.
Occasionally women do hit on me as my job takes me into homes all the time. But the only women who ever hit on me are usually very drunk and missing most of their teeth.
(edited by moderator due to extremely rude comment)
Allan – grow up
I am a former Qwest employee and I STRONGLY urge you to directly contact the Corporate Offices via phone or snail mail (I’d be happy to furnish you with both).
In all my time with that company, I NEVER saw a matter directly made to the corporate offices that was NOT swiftly and SERIOUSLY addressed.
Nothing Q hates more than a lawsuit.
If you want to persue this, let me know and I’ll get you that contact info.
Dennis Jones
djones@ifsurf.org
I wish a repairman would shag me! To each their own I guess.
#27 even the fat greasy one with his buttcrack showing?
Who do you mean, guest #27 or the repairman? Ha ha…..
P.S. I read Allan’s comment before it was edited. If I was the moderator, I’d ban him entirely from posting again. That is, unless it came from library IP or similar public place.
agreed reader … and taking about the repairman
talking